The Joy of Marriage
The Joy and Protection of Companionship
Song of Solomon 2:8-3:5
“My beloved responded and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along.”
When a couple starts dating, there is joy in companionship. There is nothing more exciting and pleasant than being together and sharing the moment. In 2:8-14, we see this joy expressed in the longing of the bride (8-9) and the call of the groom (10-13). The bride expresses her longing and joy as she sees the coming of her love. The picture of the mountains and hills draws attention to the various obstacles to the coming of the groom. However, because of his love for her, these obstacles provide no hindrance as he “moves heaven and earth” to be with his future bride. When he arrives at her home, he stands outside, calling with an abated breath, as he longs for her to join him. In verses 10-13, we find the groom standing outside her window, calling her to join him in the enjoyment of the arrival of spring. He longs for her voice and to see her beauty (vs 14). In the time of courtship, we long to spend time with the person we love, and there is no greater joy than just being together. In these verses, we are reminded of the joy of companionship, a joy that is often lost as life becomes busy and the demands of the day press upon us. Tragically, too frequently, the joy of courtship becomes lost in the mundane of everyday life. Thus, in these words, Solomon is reminding us of the importance of cultivating the joy of being together. When the marriage becomes dull, it is because we allow the demands of the day to distract us from the enjoyment of God’s gift—the gift of companionship.
To maintain the joy of companionship, we need to guard against the distractions of everyday life. In verse 15, we are reminded that we need to protect the marriage from the little things, the minor distractions of the day, that can undermine our relationship. Like the early blossoms of spring that can be easily damaged by frost, love can be fragile and easily damaged. Verse 15 reminds us that often it is not the major crisis points in marriage that undermine the relationship, but the little things that distract us from protecting and cultivating our marriage.
So, how do we cultivate the marriage? Solomon provides the answer in verses 16-17. The answer lies in remembering the delight of mutual submission. Today, we see marriage only as a mutual agreement to share life. However, in verse 16, we see the scriptures take it a step further. A godly, vibrant marriage is not just grounded in sharing life; it involves mutual submission to one another. We belong to one another. This seems offensive to us today, with our focus on individual rights, but it is not forced submission; it is voluntarily submitting to one another out of love and concern for the other person. This is what we have lost in marriage today. We no longer set aside our personal pursuits for the sake of others. We fail to recognize that we no longer belong to ourselves; we belong to our spouse (see also Eph. 5, 1 Cor. 7:3-5). A healthy, vibrant marriage is not focused on self, but focused on the other person and their needs.
Solomon reminds us that marriage takes work to cultivate the priority of finding joy in being together and by recognizing that our focus in marriage is not upon ourselves and how our spouse serves us, but upon our spouse and how we can serve them. If your marriage seems dull and your relationship feels cold and distant, this is where you need to start to rediscover the joy of marriage. Are you giving up your rights and desires for the benefit of your spouse, and are you spending time with your spouse and simply enjoying their presence? Start cultivating your marriage by simply spending time together and enjoying one another.
Song of Solomon 2:8-3:5
“My beloved responded and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along.”
When a couple starts dating, there is joy in companionship. There is nothing more exciting and pleasant than being together and sharing the moment. In 2:8-14, we see this joy expressed in the longing of the bride (8-9) and the call of the groom (10-13). The bride expresses her longing and joy as she sees the coming of her love. The picture of the mountains and hills draws attention to the various obstacles to the coming of the groom. However, because of his love for her, these obstacles provide no hindrance as he “moves heaven and earth” to be with his future bride. When he arrives at her home, he stands outside, calling with an abated breath, as he longs for her to join him. In verses 10-13, we find the groom standing outside her window, calling her to join him in the enjoyment of the arrival of spring. He longs for her voice and to see her beauty (vs 14). In the time of courtship, we long to spend time with the person we love, and there is no greater joy than just being together. In these verses, we are reminded of the joy of companionship, a joy that is often lost as life becomes busy and the demands of the day press upon us. Tragically, too frequently, the joy of courtship becomes lost in the mundane of everyday life. Thus, in these words, Solomon is reminding us of the importance of cultivating the joy of being together. When the marriage becomes dull, it is because we allow the demands of the day to distract us from the enjoyment of God’s gift—the gift of companionship.
To maintain the joy of companionship, we need to guard against the distractions of everyday life. In verse 15, we are reminded that we need to protect the marriage from the little things, the minor distractions of the day, that can undermine our relationship. Like the early blossoms of spring that can be easily damaged by frost, love can be fragile and easily damaged. Verse 15 reminds us that often it is not the major crisis points in marriage that undermine the relationship, but the little things that distract us from protecting and cultivating our marriage.
So, how do we cultivate the marriage? Solomon provides the answer in verses 16-17. The answer lies in remembering the delight of mutual submission. Today, we see marriage only as a mutual agreement to share life. However, in verse 16, we see the scriptures take it a step further. A godly, vibrant marriage is not just grounded in sharing life; it involves mutual submission to one another. We belong to one another. This seems offensive to us today, with our focus on individual rights, but it is not forced submission; it is voluntarily submitting to one another out of love and concern for the other person. This is what we have lost in marriage today. We no longer set aside our personal pursuits for the sake of others. We fail to recognize that we no longer belong to ourselves; we belong to our spouse (see also Eph. 5, 1 Cor. 7:3-5). A healthy, vibrant marriage is not focused on self, but focused on the other person and their needs.
Solomon reminds us that marriage takes work to cultivate the priority of finding joy in being together and by recognizing that our focus in marriage is not upon ourselves and how our spouse serves us, but upon our spouse and how we can serve them. If your marriage seems dull and your relationship feels cold and distant, this is where you need to start to rediscover the joy of marriage. Are you giving up your rights and desires for the benefit of your spouse, and are you spending time with your spouse and simply enjoying their presence? Start cultivating your marriage by simply spending time together and enjoying one another.
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